I think I had a dangerous amount of empathy for the way I was approached with allegations about people I had drama with, because I have been that person, thinking that’s the way I should go about such things.

This whole saga though, really should emphasize for anyone witnessing, take that shit somewhere or to someone where it will actually help.

And unfortunately, that very likely means, if there’s any truth to what happened, you are only hurting yourself by making yourself responsible for all of your abusers future interactions and preventing them. You have to accept that moving on means accepting that your abuser may never face any consequence and you are not the one responsible for making sure they face those consequences.

I’ve had a very long and difficult conversation regarding this with a close loved one this morning, and that’s the conclusion I came up with.

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I should also clarify

While I personally think the absolute venom being directed at me is a little unfair and very over the top, the cyber stalking that went on is not ok, and though statements such as I am only upset “because a grown man couldn’t handle being told Fuck you” are unfair and a gross misrepresentation devoid of additional context, do not go speaking in my defense or harassing the other parties.

I want my attempts at being better to speak for themselves, and if the other parties involved feel like speaking openly about how they feel I am such a horrible person, that is their right whether or not its justified. After all, it is reasonable, given all that went on, for them to be upset. Let people be upset. That is all.

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To whoever sent me a note on FA

sorry but I logged out of that lurker account I sent a message through because of shame for what I did and I will probably not be logging back in.

I should clarify that account has existed for years as a lurking account, it was not made recently to “block evade.” You can fact check this yourself with how long its existed.

That being said, I should not have contacted Tobi through it. Again, I am sorry about that specifically.

if your point was that I was being an asshole, message received. don’t worry about it.

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mabusthedark
libraford

One thing I urge adults to unlearn is the stigma surrounding forgetfulness.

Perfect memory retention is rare. A faulty memory can be the result a host of mental illnesses, from ADHD to PTSD. It's not a sign that someone wasn't listening. I have a friend that has a four year gap in her memory due to trauma. I have another with poor short term memory retention because that's one of their autism symptoms.

Your brain can also trick you into misremembering things. I can't tell you how many times I've remembered putting my keys somewhere and unearthed them in a completely different place. I have to remind myself what my birth date is because I said it wrong once and now the wrong date is in my memory forever. I have to come up with mnemonics for birthdays, anniversaries, and events because my brain doesn't do numbers for some reason.

I see people bicker about forgetting a person's favorite food or what their mothers favorite color. I think it's important to forgive people who forget easily.

I am highly suspicious that whoever contacted me with all this bullshit, manipulating me when I was in a state of hurt, is part of a certain community that “Farms Fruit.”

Be advised and don’t entertain randos, folks.

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